Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche. Lindsey Rural Players. Broadbent Theatre, Wickenby. 6 November 2025.

Tonight was a first for Review Culture, visiting the slightly remote Broadbent Theatre at Wickenby to see Lindsey Rural Players' final dress rehearsal of Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche. Nevertheless, it was well worth the trip in order to see this camp and quirky little comedy with an absurd premise and a wonderful period setting. I had not heard of this play by Evan Linder and Andrew Hobgood before I was invited to review the show but was delighted to accept the offer. I am also exceedingly grateful to Richard Hall for providing the excellent photography included with this review.

It is a one-act play that runs at roughly an hour and a quarter, I would guess. The show begins as the audience are all welcomed into The Susan B Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein's Annual Quiche Breakfast and are given name labels to wear for the duration of the show, as 1950s rock n roll hits blast from the sound system and the action kicks in when we are called to order for the housekeeping announcements and the committee of the aforementioned organisation set teh scene and warn the audience of the impending arrival of their rather intimidating president Lulie. This in America in 1956 and we are soon made aware of the Cold War, the concept of Reds Under the Bed and the threat of an atomic war. But above all, we learn of the greatest dish known to womankind... the quiche!

Storme Wilson-Eddowes' sharp direction helps to keep the laughter flowing throughout at a wonderful pace and there is little opportunity for the action to flag as gag after gag hits the stage with machine-gun-like efficiency. The set manages to turn the entire interior of the theatre into a community shelter by extending the theatre's colour scheme from the auditorium to the stage, though the industrial door to the rear of the set reminds us that Vern (Veronica) who is responsible for managing the state of the shelter, has made several upgrades to its security, so that in the event of a nuclear war, the women of the society could hole up for four years and await the return to society safely.

It is difficult to comment too much on the story without giving spoilers away, and this show is so funny because of its virtual anonymity in this part of the world. I think audiences should experience the sheer lunacy of the unlikely plot and to take it with a huge helping of salt to ignore the obvious plot holes that one could drive a bus through. The play which mimics the trad-wife stereotype (or in this case "widows")soon descends into a joyous exploration of queer culture and LGBTQ+ themes, always aware that they COULD make queerness the joke but they avoid doing so rather neatly.

Every member of the cast has their opportunity to shine in their own way. The marvellously demanding, fussy, rule-driven President, Lulie, is played with real attack by Jane Hewer, who is given the chance to demonstrate her comedy chops powerfully here, and she brings a commanding presence to the role. Her shameful secret is exposed as the action progresses and Hewer plays it perfectly demonstrating that pride comes before a fall, though Lulie finds a silver lining regardless. Audience sympathy will shift as the action progresses thanks to Hewer's skilful performance.

The first real point of contact with the Susan B Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein during the evening, comes in the form of Wren, played with relish by Diana Carroll. I was delighted to realise that her American accent is in fact real and not one adopted for the role. Carroll really understood the assignment here and plays the character to its full comic potential, making Wren a cartoonish hostess and yet subservient and respectful to Lulie. Carroll mischievously toys with the role and explodes with delight when Wren's secret is revealed.

The society's photographer is Dale, played with sweet enthusiasm and slight naivete by Claire Burnett. Her kind and servile nature masks a tragic back story that is played beautifully. Dale teh youngest member of the committee and all present at the meeting, succeeds in transcending her role within the Society and places all her trust in the sisterhood displayed by her friends. Burnett masterfully (or should that be "mistressfully" here?) finds the light and shade necessary to bring her character to life and to elicit audience sympathy. Her monologue is performed brilliantly.

Veronica "Vern" Schultz is the sisterhood's buildings and grounds manager, notably the only one of the five cast members not dressed in more feminine 50s dresses. Instead, she sports a playsuit that might suggest she is slightly more comfortable to leave the ladylike-look to other committee members. Tanya Chadderton, brings a wonderful self-awareness to Vern, whose only error in readiness for nuclear war causes untold problems for the group. The way in which she removes a bit of quiche from a fellow cast mate's face will have audiences roaring with laughter.

Anita Quigley, as Ginny, is something of an outsider to this group. She is the newly appointed secretary taking notes at every opportunity, but coming from Manchester, England puts her at a distinct disadvantage in the pecking order of ladies and se is often ignored by her compatriots. Quigley will have audiences rolling with laughter as teh temptation of the quiche becomes too much for her and leads to her REALLY going to town on the dish to the amazement of everyone.

I had a great time watching this short but perfectly-formed, absurd, beauty of a comedy. I am certain audiences will feel likewise over the run of the play. I thoroughly recommend it to everyone. The title is decidedly bonkers, but you would be bonkers to miss the chance to see it. Just remember the Society's motto, "No Men. No Meat. All Manners" even the gents in the audience will be expected to wear a woman's name badge and become honorary members of the fairer sex for the evening, and throw yourself into the crazy world of Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche.

Andy Evans - 6 November 2025.

ALL PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS REVIEW COPRIGHT RICHARD HALL AND USED WITH PERMISSION OF THE LINDSEY RURAL PLAYERS